their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
