If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize