quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
