Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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