Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
