Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I wear drunk well.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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