The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
