He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize