I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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