Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
