I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
