Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
