you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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