It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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