My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
