More tranny stories later!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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