Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
