now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
