i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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