Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
