His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
