Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Randomize
