So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
