Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
