What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
