whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
