Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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