party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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