I hate your face
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
