After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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