so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
