Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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