i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
