they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
