I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
