I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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