just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
