i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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