Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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