her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize