Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
