Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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