end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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