Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
