Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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