Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
