My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
