You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
