so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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