I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
