I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
