quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
