Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize