You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
