Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize