And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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