And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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