I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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