so that wasnt chicken after all
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
