He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
