so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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