Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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