I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
