Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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