): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
