my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
