So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
