Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
