So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
