Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize