Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
