I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
