It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
