Nicole vs. Life
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
