just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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